Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Thing About Sondra London

It's not as if we all haven't dated some, shall we say, "questionable people" in our lives. I mean, I guess I can't speak for everyone, but lord knows I haven't always had the best judgement ever.
But usually, I can at least say "Well, it's not like he was a serial killer or anything."

Not so for Sondra London!

So, dig this: back when she was in high school, she dated this one dude, Gerard John Schaefer who had many hobbies, including screwing in graveyards, talking about how his neighbor was a dirty whore because he could see into her windows and sometimes saw her naked, and also needlepoint. Ok, not needlepoint. Like any highschool couple, they had long, heart to heart talks about his intense urge to kill and mutilate women. Which is totally normal and not a red flag of any kind, right?

Anyway, she eventually broke up with him because his sad stories about wanting to kill ladies were totally cutting into her good time (actual quote, pretty much), and not because she thought he might like, kill her or anything. Luckily for her, he didn't. He did, however, kill like, 30 other women. So, she did what any person who found out her high school boyfriend turned out to be a serial killer would do. No, she didn't seek therapy, she published a book of his short stories and drawings. And um... the letters he wrote her detailing how he killed a bunch of ladies. Romantic, right?

But, surprisingly, things once again did not work out, so Sondra jumped back in the saddle and found herself a new love. Who, um, was also a serial killer. On trial. For killing people. Serially.

Ok, sure, we all love a bad ass. Usually not for the reason you think- I mean, I don't like arrogant assholes because I'm so impressed by their manliness or whatever, I like them because I'm an arrogant asshole and I feel importantly about punching my own weight. I like a fair fight- so I can't exactly go around dating mangenues (I invented this word just now, by the way. See! Man + ingenue= mangenue).

HOWEVER. It's one thing to be a little more into a dude after he tells you he's been in a bar fight recently, or has a really clever comeback to some snarky thing you say. It is another to be more into him after he kills a bunch of people. The other thing is that Sondra, and many other serial killer groupies I've read things from, seem to be way into this idea of the killer as a "scared little boy." Which, um, is kind of gross when you think about it, really.

I digress. Like I said, she fell in love with another serial killer- this time, her true love was Danny Rollings, the Gainesville Ripper. Who sang a weird country song to her in court during his sentencing, claimed to have been possessed by a demon or something, and also liked to rape and behead his victims and then pose them like "The Thinker." They were totally, totally in love, and were in fact engaged for several years, and may or may not have been married. He died by lethal injection in 2006. Also, for a while, London had some internet bitchfest with The Happy Face Killer, and, according to him, sent him pictures of herself in a leather teddy.

This is the thing though. I don't dislike this lady at all. In fact, she seems weirdly intelligent and I'm just completely fascinated by her. Sure, sometimes she gets dressed up in weird KISS face paint and sings songs about how serial killers are people too, but at least she's interesting. You can talk about her at cocktail parties.

PS- Watch this. All of it. There are three parts!